# 38: Death By Freeway

As I am cautiously driving home, staying within my lane, the thought occurs to me, as it often does that I might very well die. In my minds eye I can picture the truck in front of me jack knifing, or the motorcycles darting in and out of traffic colliding with any number of cars that are doing the same. I see the various scenarios play out and I see my self reacting to them, swerving to the right, or breaking hard trying to avoid certain death. Now I am sure that at one time or another everyone experiences these thoughts while driving next to an eitghteen wheeler or a speeding car.

However the problem becomes that I have these thoughts everytime I get into my car. Evertime, not just sometimes, or a few times, but evertime I am in my car on the freeway or driving the 4 miles to my house from the freeway. I can see the traffic light on the road back to my place suddenly changing from green to red . I see myself unable to stop, as the speed limit is 50, running through the sudden red light and being hit by the opposing traffic that has the green. This is what I think about when I drive. I do not think about the act of driving, as so much as the act of dying while I am driving. This is not normal I know. At first I did not notice it, merely passsing the whole thing off as being a cautious driver, but now I see it as a completely irrational fear. Well not completely, as statistics show that someone gets into an accident every few minutes. Yet the fact reamins that no one needs to be spending more time thinking about how they could die on the road then spending time driving the road. My main focus should be on driving and not contiplating what I will do if a wild deer runs across the interstate causing a 20 car pile up. Incidentily no deer have ever been seen crossing the interstae by where I live, it would be instant suiside for the deer. So what I am or anyone else to do, I can't not worry as then I would become reckless like all the other idiots on the road.

I could turn up my music really loud to drown out the voices in my head. Or I guess that I could move to a place where tourist and idiots do not rule the road. A place where the locals, are not so fed up by the tourist and idiots on the roads , that they to drive like the mad people they despise. Yeah, moving may be the only way, that or walking which I beleive may be even more dangerous still. Lastly, I could resort to flying everywhere as one is less likely to be in a plane crash then in an automobile accident. I think we have found the anwser, flying. But alas I am not superman or John Travoilta with my own private fleet of planes. So, I guess I will have to resort to strapping on a helmet and praying to god that death does not find me while I am driving on the freeway.

--Sleep Well